From the Department of Hypochondria or Death

Pardon my silence: I’ve been wallowing in disappointment. The penicillin did nothing for my throat. I’m trying a water cure instead, which involves drinking water, and maybe it’s working. I don’t know. Yesterday I felt better, but then I choked on a chip and some lemon juice, and also on a noodle, and felt worse. Today I tried not inhaling my food, and maybe it’s helping. I don’t know.

I also tried poking at my neck a lot, looking for lumps in case it’s cancer. I think I poked too hard. It hurts down my arm and up my ear.

Why do I do these things?

(Make it stop.)