I made up a new game for nearsighted shut-ins.

It goes like this: you sit in your window, watching for distant dog-shaped objects. When such an object appears, you make a bet with yourself: dog or not dog? Then you test your hypothesis with a zoom lens. (The one on your phone will suffice, in most cases.)

Dog. Not dog. (I guessed wrong in both cases, identifying the dog as a wheelie bag and the wheelie bag as a dog.)

Dog. Not dog. (Most of the not-dogs in this area turn out to be wheelie bags. In this case, I identified both objects as dogs. Note the waster behind the lamppost in the frame to the right, wiping his hands on his coat after a flagrant public piss.)

Not dog. This one broke my heart a bit. I was sure I’d found a dog. Folks in Vancouver sure love their wheelie bags.

Dog! Such a good dog, as well, so fluffy, so big. I took its picture twice, just because I liked it.

I think that’s a dog, but it might be a werewolf. Canines with clothes on, you can’t be too sure.

So, anyway, that’s it—that’s “dog or not dog.” You can play by yourself, or you can bombard your friends with bad pictures of dogs. You can stand in your window as your morning drains away, watching fog roll off the shoulders of the mountains. I do a fair bit of that when the street’s clear of dogs. I watch and I watch some more, and a cavalcade of wheelie bags marches up Kingsway.

Dog or not dog. Try it. It’s fun.