From the Department of Avian Malfeasance

Twenty-three years ago, I was eating a burger, and a BIG, UGLY, MESSY GRACKLE flew down and snatched the bun.

I don’t forgive that grackle.

It’s just, life doesn’t come with infinite burgers. You only get so many. Take this lady I knew—she died of stomach cancer. She couldn’t eat or drink, but they wouldn’t let her go. They fed her for months through her veins, months, without…I mean, she couldn’t even have the prisoner’s last meal. She had a sad sip of apple juice, something sweet on her tongue, and a long, hungry end.

I don’t forgive that grackle.

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