URGENT: From the Department of Arbitrary Censorship

By decree of no-one in particular, “LOL” is no longer to be used as punctuation. Starting next Monday, the following will be deemed unacceptable:

LOL AS COMMA, DASH, OR SEMICOLON

Nah man lol I was on my way and this three hundred pound Rottweiler wedged itself in the door. ITS WHOLE ENTIRE SELF man i’m stuck.

LOL AS FULL STOP

A true alpha male doesn’t let “sorry” in his vocabulary lol

LOL AS WEIRD SENTENCE BOOKENDS—I DON’T KNOW—ARE THESE PARENTHESES?

LOL and they say our kids spread measles when they literally inject theirs with measles like whaaaaaaaa lol

LOL?

Ahaha, what even is this lol

Anyone caught using “LOL” as punctuation after Monday will be subject to mild to severe disapproval, depending on the material being punctuated.