The Spill

This morning, a thin old man came out of the Dollarama. He’d hung bags on his walker, at least five or six of them, and halfway across the car park, one of them burst. He’d bought mostly canned goods, and they rolled across the tarmac. Some of them went under cars. The old man went after them. He left his walker behind, and the wind slowly blew it away.

I’m not a monster. I’d have helped. It’s just, I was all the way upstairs, and my wheelchair gets stuck on the carpet. The hall’s really long. By the time I got down there, oh….

I sat and watched.

Anyway, this guy’s walker, it wasn’t some Potemkin-style flight, y’know, with the baby carriage on the stairs. It just drifted an inch or two and knocked into a pole. It was one of those modern walkers with the wheels and the sling seat, not the old tennis-ball sort you see in geriatric wards.

So this guy, he got down on the ground and swept his leg under the cars till he’d got all his cans out. He distributed them amongst his other bags and hobbled on. He left the burst sack on the ground, and it blew away.

I think there’s an old folks’ home here. I see lots of grey heads go by, mostly to the Dollarama, or round for some billiards. They all have that same sort of walker, all in bright red. Maybe they get that when they move in, a walker, some denture cream—welcome to Verdant Acres. Here’s your old fart kit.

That was about half past nine, the old man dropped his beans. I’d been working since five. Sometimes, the words flow. Today, it was whey from a stone, and I was sitting on my balcony, wishing something interesting would happen. Nothing usually does, but you never know. One time, some guy showed up with a banana in a crotch-holster. Another time, two dogs had a tail-chasing contest, and they both bonked into cars. Then, there are the crows. They’re usually up to something. But today, it was just that old man, which is why you’re hearing about him now.

Maybe tomorrow, something better will happen.

5 thoughts on “The Spill

  1. So here’s me – sitting at my desk with a mountain of documents to write up, not to mention a covering letter to finish for a job interview on Friday, and what am I doing – binge reading Socar Myles’s blog posts…Christ I feel like I’ve gone back 15 years! It’s great to see you blogging again, and that you’ve not lost your humour and strange outlook on life.

    You’ve got me curious now – I want to know what was in those tins that old guy dropped on the floor, and did he get them all back?

    So when’s the next worlds toilet day celebration?


    1. I knew I recognised your name when I noticed your follow alert this morning! Always good to bump into someone from the old days. It’s nice to be back, I must say. I stopped because Facebook was sort of taking over, and started again because Facebook is getting annoying.

      I couldn’t see what was in all the tins, but most of them were blue, which leads me to suspect they were baked beans. Or cat food. Both of those come in blue tins.

      World Toilet Day, as always, falls on November 19. Do something nice for your loo! (I mean, I don’t know—give it one of those toilet cakes that turns the water blue?)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Has Facebook ever been anything other than annoying I wonder – it’s certainly very ephemeral. You post something and it’s gone in the FB either 10 seconds later.

        I’m guessing beans then – I can’t imagine dog food is needed much in an old folks home – unless he’s odd and having both himself. Beans and dog food..?

        Sorry – it’s been a long day at work (still trying to write that letter).

        November the 19th – right I’ll remember that!

        Nice to talk to you again!


        1. Oh, Facebook has its moments. Though, those moments are always thanks to the people on it, and never the platform itself, which is goofy and confusing, and hides all the best stuff under a pile of memes and advertising.

          I think good old folks’ homes allow pets, you know, the retirement community ones, not the nursing home ones. So it’s possible he does, indeed, have a dog or cat waiting at home. Or maybe he really is just a big bean-eater. I suppose we’ll never know.

          Best of luck with your letter! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

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